A dog is truly a man's best friend. If you don't believe it, just try this experiment.Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour.When you open the trunk, see who is really happy to see you.
First guy says, "My wife's an angel!" Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
"A Woman's Prayer: Dear Lord, I pray for: wisdom, to understand a man , to love and to forgive him , and for patience, for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for strength I'll just beat him to death"
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.
Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late."
A young son asked, "Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: "Husband Wanted". Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
WHY AM I MARRIED?You have two choices in life:You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
Little boy: Dad, how was I born?Dad: Well son, your mom and I got together at 'Yahoo'. We 'setup' a date via 'e-mail' and met in a 'cyber cafe'. Your mom agreed to 'download data' from my 'hard drive'. Just when I was about to 'transfer', we realised that none of us had 'installed' a 'firewall'. It was too late to hit 'delete'. Nine months later a 'pop-up window' appeared, saying 'you've got a male.'.!
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. "Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked. "To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. "What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up????"
Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. "Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want very badly to capture him." Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"
Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?" His father replied, "Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Johnny, looking worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom."
ต่อจากนี้ไปจะdirtyนิดนึง...
• Wife: My hubby & I have, what he calls-olympic sex .Friend: Wow, must be a terrific sex life?Wife: Not really. It only happens once in 4 Years.
• Wives are funny creatures. They don't have sex with their husbands for weeks and then they want to kill the woman who does.
• A master on long tour asks his butler to inform if anything unusual happens at home.the butler SMSs after a month: Man who comes 2 Screw Ur Wife daily, didnt come today.
E2 Packging Clark in India: Sir we got a huge order from usa for 16 inches condoms. I think it is to embrass us.Boss: No problem! Complete the order and mark them SMALL SIZE.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Friday, January 9, 2009
Why English Is So Hard
WHY ENGLISH IS SO HARD
We’ll begin with box, and the plural is boxes;
But the plural of ox should be oxen, not oxes.
Then one fowl is goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a whole lot of mice,
But the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen?
The cow in the plural may be cows or kine,
But the plural of vow is vows, not vine.
And I speak of a foot, and you show me your feet,
But I give a boot -- would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called beeth?
Then one may be that, and three may be those,
Yet the plural of hat would never be hose.
We speak of a brother, and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
The masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine she, shis, and shim!
So our English, I think you will all agree,
Is the trickiest language you ever did see.
----------------------------------------------
Don't you think so?
ถึงได้ตกอังกฤษกันเยอะไงล่ะครับ 55+
We’ll begin with box, and the plural is boxes;
But the plural of ox should be oxen, not oxes.
Then one fowl is goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a whole lot of mice,
But the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen?
The cow in the plural may be cows or kine,
But the plural of vow is vows, not vine.
And I speak of a foot, and you show me your feet,
But I give a boot -- would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called beeth?
Then one may be that, and three may be those,
Yet the plural of hat would never be hose.
We speak of a brother, and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
The masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine she, shis, and shim!
So our English, I think you will all agree,
Is the trickiest language you ever did see.
----------------------------------------------
Don't you think so?
ถึงได้ตกอังกฤษกันเยอะไงล่ะครับ 55+
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)